“We are of the same drop. A multitude of droplets made into the whole.” As channeled by Anne Koller as part of  Follow the Water  | Captured by Zanette Johnson

“We are of the same drop. A multitude of droplets made into the whole.” As channeled by Anne Koller as part of Follow the Water | Captured by Zanette Johnson

I find myself at another turning point, completing another cycle of letting go. 

On the outside, it looks like one big adventure but that’s only the tip of the iceberg. 

There is far more beneath the surface. There are tidal waves in these waters. It’s emotional. 

I’ve spent the last year “Completing the Hero’s Journey” (<-- see blog post), answering the call to adventure and charging into the unknown. Over the course of the last month and a half, I've been making the return journey down memory lane in a live-in van to see the people and places I’ve called home. 

And as this sun sets, another sun rises on the next stage called the Heroine’s Journey (<-- not the same as a female Hero's Journey, read Maureen Murdock's article). It is here that I take the plunge, diving deeper into my inner chambers and subconscious on a quest for healing and wholeness. 

As I take steps into this new realm I often feel clumsy, messy, unruly, flawed, and unacceptable. Combine this with full-time travel, balancing work and relationships and all of a sudden you unearth trigger after trigger. Connected to a host of untrue stories, hidden insecurities, fears, and worries. 

I have insecurities about the "imperfections" of my body, the frenetic tendencies of my mind, the restlessness of my spirit, and the sensitive unpredictability of my heart.

I fear I am an imposter. I fear that I don’t know what I’m doing. I fear that I can’t take care of myself. 

I worry I’m too much. I worry I’m not good enough. I worry I’m not worthy of love.

At the temple at Burning Man this year I read one message I hope to never forget. It was a tribute to an amazing man named Robert. On the back of his memorial program, it said,  “Thank you to Robert who taught me that fear is just a lack of faith and worry is a misuse of imagination.”

Such a good reminder to get out of my head and return to the heart. Still, sometimes I feel completely mad like I am on the brink of schizophrenia.  

One recent discovery that has provided support was found on a hypnojourney (small group healing hypnosis experience, a bit of a mix between meditation and visualization, which I plan to write about in full soon!). The theme of the hypnojourney was "Tending the Inner Garden" where we were led on an inner voyage to discover our Creative Muse.

As we were guided into our inner gardens, we were led by our spirit guides (mine is a Cheetah) to meet our potential muses. The first one I met was a blossoming flowering Earth Goddess. I was ecstatic to meet her and was certain she was my muse! She embodied my ideal vision of a Creatrix with all of her colorful, flowing vibrancy and fertility. In the hypnojourney we were asked to send light from our hearts to the being and if the light was returned then they were our muse. 

As I beamed my light to her with immense joy, she did not beam back. 

I waited and waited to see if it was really true.


Disappointed and confused, I finally accepted that perhaps she and I might have a different relationship but that she was not my Creative Muse. I carried on and after a while, my spirit guide brought me to a dark forest.

In the forest I saw a lake surrounded by lush trees. It was a bit spooky. But then I saw a Swan gliding silently beneath the luminescence of the moon. This is when I truly became hypnotized, I watched as the Swan glided effortless with ease and grace in an infinity-shaped loop.


My next reaction after seeing this exquisite creature was, she’s not my muse. She’s too elegant and I’m too messy. It can’t be her. I tried to leave and move on to another area but she kept presenting herself in my consciousness. Enchanting me.

As the hypnotherapist had instructed, I sent a light beam from my heart to her and to my surprise, she received it. What she did next astonished me. She responded by beaming her light and creating a golden orb beneath the water that radiated into ripples. 

From there, we were encouraged to offer our muse a gift. I thought what can I possibly give a swan? The hypnotherapist said, "Whatever it is that comes to you first, go with it." So I offered her an eternal rose. When she accepted the rose it was enveloped by her white feathers and left a trail of rose petals behind as she glided.

She offered me a gift in return, a thin golden vile with an elixir to transcend time (WOW).

The last thing I heard before I woke from the hypnojourney were two words, “Swan Dive”. 

I didn’t know what a Swan Dive was so after waking I asked my friend Harper who said, “A swan dive is standing on the edge and leaping into the darkness.”

And that’s exactly how this next stage feels. 

Follow the Water  presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

Follow the Water presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

The journey continues! The very next day, I attended "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" at Alameda Beach where these photos were taken. Together, we sat in a circle and offered our intention and prayer. When it was my turn I offered my surrender with the intention of a "Swan Dive Into the Darkness". After we danced, a soul sister and one of the hosts of the evening, Anne said, “Lotus are you ready for your Swan Dive?” 

Hand in hand, step-by-step we journeyed into the cold ocean water towards the setting sun. This moment was overwhelming, I was brimming with joy and tears. 

Letting go is a mostly difficult and very necessary thing to do. That evening I saw how Mother Earth so graciously let's go of the sun. With love trusting that it will return the next day. 

And so I must summon my willpower to surrender too. 

It's going to be a windy journey with plenty of up's and downs. But I'm no longer running and hiding, I’m ready to go all in.

Swan Dive. Heart First. 


P.S. Join Follow the Water for more "H2Flow: Sunset Water Dance" in Alameda, California. If you're curious to learn more about Healing Hypnosis or want to schedule a virtual hypnosis session, email me and I'll put you in touch. 

Follow the Water  presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

Follow the Water presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson



When starting a new year, I don’t just choose an intention, I chose a teacher.

I ask, what is most important for my growth?

2016 was a “Year of Courage”, of finding the inner strength to make important changes.

2017 was “Year of Lotus", of creating spaciousness for inner transformation, illumination, and florescence (the process of bursting into a flower).

2018 whispered to me this morning during sunrise meditation that this is the “Year of Surrender”.

A wise friend shared with me that humans have two major superpowers, the ability to identify with and the ability to surrender. 

In the external world of measurement, I’ve become well-practiced at the superpower of identifying. 

Since I was a little girl I loved playing dress up. I would dive into my dress up tubby to find my mother's old dresses, in one moment a flamenco dancer, another a Hawaiian wahini, and the next a business woman. To this day, the act of adornment is something I treasure, collecting items from around the world to express my creativity.

I've also worked since I was fifteen and have held twenty-four jobs. All vehicles for learning, growing, and discovering myself through the act of service. I've traveled through thirty-three countries, attended workshop after workshop and explored community after community. Even the consulting work I do in its essence is helping individuals and organizations do the "archeology" of identifying their hidden truths and then consciously bringing them to the light, creating and building from there. 

If identifying comes easy to me, the other superpower of surrendering seems incredibly difficult to do and maybe that's because it doesn't require thinking, doing, or having, it's about being.

It feels like jumping off a cliff. A swan dive into the darkness. I haven't got a clue.

A friend shared that he believes we are all born enlightened and that our real work is about recovery, reconditioning, and regressing. A return journey to that sacred place.

What I've discovered about this process of surrendering is it's emotional, it comes like waves and includes a hell of a lot of letting go.

But through this process, I've also discovered that my emotional range is vast. In the past few weeks alone, I’ve experienced anger, resentment, frustration, irritation, defensiveness, rejection, confusion, joy, ecstasy, clarity, compassion, inner peace, and gratitude.

I’ve picked up many tools along the way to assist me in resolving these emotional triggers towards healing and repair but my sense is instead of addressing each one by one, I need to go to source.

So after eight years of conscious internal archeology, I’m surrendering what I've discovered so far.

Insight isn’t healing. 

And though I've unearthed many things, it's time to drop the weapons, the tools, the ideas and identities and surrender myself to the mysterious ball pit of life. 

With that, I've decided to spend the next two months or more at Hridaya Yoga & Meditation Center in Oaxaca, Mexico. A conscious community dedicated to returning to "Hridaya" the spiritual heart. 

May I surrender to what's real. May I surrender to what's true. 

Blessings on your journey's.





Key learnings and practical tips when taking a leap of faith.


Nature is not in a hurry and yet everything is accomplished. — Lao Tzu

I read Lao Tzu’s words one morning on a little paper square strung on my cup of tea. The wise one in me agreed. The practical one scoffed. 

Finding your center, living in the present, and moving gracefully through the world sounds so easy but in modern day society it is one of the hardest things to do. In the Matrix, every day is a battle. We have become so conditioned into this reality that we forget to ask ourselves, what are we really fighting for? 

In the Celtic book of wisdom, Anam Cara, John O’Donohue says, “one of the reasons so many people are suffering from stress is not that they are doing stressful things but that they allow so little time for silence.”

He continues, “only in solitude can you discover a sense of your own beauty.” 

We work, we push, we delay our dreams for years to earn refuge from the noise. We bet on some faraway hope that one day we’ll lay in a hammock on a quiet beach and be free. 

Like so many others, I subscribed to this set of beliefs. I kept thinking if I work harder, when I get better, I’ll beat this game. Then I realized, you don’t beat the game. 

The only way out is to do the inconceivable, to SURRENDER.

What’s so ironic is, as soon as you let go, you realize surrender is about liberation not defeat.

In that realization, you are no longer a slave. By freeing your mind, you get to make your own plans and prepare for the real journey ahead. 

Heaven's Gate | Pura Lempuyang Door, Bali, Indonesia

Heaven's Gate | Pura Lempuyang Door, Bali, Indonesia

You may be asking, "But where do I start? Am I ready? And what journey?"

  • Start where you are. As you are. Step by step. Breath by breath. Today.
  • You will know you are ready when you’re done suffering.
  • As for the journey, Swedish diplomat Dag Hammarskjold says, “The longest journey is the journey inward. Of him who has chosen his destiny, who has started on his quest for the source of his being."

Your journey will be unique to you but I believe much of the mental, emotional, and spiritual mud we must go through in realizing our dreams is the same.

From what I’ve found in preparing for a five month travel/live/work trip abroad, getting through the mud requires three key steps: 

    1.    SURRENDER
    2.    LIBERATION

Anthony Gormley Sculpture

Anthony Gormley Sculpture


When it comes to change, the most profound shifts are not in your thoughts (cognitive) or your behaviors (action) but in your state of being.
All things change when you do (or at least your perception of all things). 
Start surrendering by asking yourself:

    •    What am I fighting for? Why do I show up each day?
    •    Who am I being now?
    •    Who do I desire to be?
    •    What do I need to let go of?
    •    And if I loved myself truly and deeply, what would I do next?

Listen to yourself and your own wisdom. Not the voices of others. Though they are trying to help, you have all of your own answers.

Once you surrender into yourself, you’ll see, hear, and taste the underlying truth that always existed and was just waiting for you to slow down and let go. 


The most vulnerable time for a new flame is just after it is lit. As soon as you’ve reached clarity, you’ll undoubtedly meet doubt. Doubt is a cousin of fear, riddled with insecurity, and dresses itself up as being helpful. 

Negative introspection (extensive analysis and criticism) damages the soul. That doesn’t mean destroy it, it will only fight back harder, it means befriend it. The negative contains valuable insights into ourselves. Like in alchemy where lead is transformed into gold, this capacity to embrace and accept allows us to see the infinity of our interiority and reminds us to love the darkness and the light.  

    •    MENTAL LIBERATION - Change the mental loop. Rewire the brain. When fear speaks and negativity arises, respond with “not useful” or “thank you for sharing.” Of course, some fears keep us safe but be able to distinguish a true physical or emotional threat and a mental one. Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen? Write it all down. Face every fear. Then write why each fear is not real and how you will overcome and/or befriend it.
    •    EMOTIONAL LIBERATION - As you make space for this new dream, leap of faith or adventure ahead you’ll need to let go of things that are no longer serving you. Emotionally that may look like relationshifts (shifting the dynamics of relationships – friends, family, romantic). It may also take the form of releasing yourself from unnecessary and unhealthy commitments. Take stock. Get free.
    •    SPIRITUAL LIBERATION - Whether you believe in spirit or not. There is an undeniable energy that connects us all. People talk a lot about extrinsic technology as this great power but we completely forget about our intrinsic technology. The miracle that we are. As you navigate your next steps, be in conversations with your higher self, your source, your God. Ask for guidance, protection, and support.

West Lake, Hangzhou, China

West Lake, Hangzhou, China


"In preparing for battle, I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

When preparing for the unknown, it’s impossible to know what to expect. In my opinion, the most important life skills to nurture—which will help in any and all situations—are the abilities to adapt, learn, and be “game.”

1. Adapt: Being able to adapt means being in unfamiliaroftentimes uncomfortablesituations and adjusting your disposition to meet the challenge in front of you. With the speed of technology, many have coined this time period the “Adaptive Age.” In the Adaptive Age, this life skill isn’t a “nice to have,” it’s a “need to have.” One note: being adaptive is not the same thing as being reactive. It’s a combination of analysis, intuition, and action. Remember that what worked in one place may not work in another. Be willing to let go of what you think you know, let go of your expectations, and go with the flow. It will be much more enjoyable of a journey if you do!

2. Grow: Be willing to see challenges or “weaknesses” as opportunities for growth. Be humble, coachable, and willing to learn. The commonality between every successful person I’ve met, from world travelers to CEOs, has been their passion for growth and their resilience in getting back on the horse. It’s not about how many times you fall, its your willingness to get back up. When you realize the highs and lows of life are all interconnected, you’ll see how much you have to gain from what may look like a setback. Trust that when you come out of the storm, you will be a better person than when you went in.

3. Be Game: People underestimate the value of enthusiasm. Being “game” is enthusiasm combined with a willingness to try something new. How “game” you are will of course be affected by others and what’s important to you (e.g., your family, your kids, your community, and your career path). Know yourself and your values. Also, keep in mind that when opportunity knocks, it’s often not at a convenient time. So when you get a call and they ask, “How soon can you be on a plane to Hong Kong?” Think about what your answer will be: “Tomorrow,” “Two weeks,” or “Two months.” Dream-makers are risk takers. Be courageous in your intuition. You’ll know what’s right for you.

Red Lotus Sea | Udon Thani, Thailand

Red Lotus Sea | Udon Thani, Thailand

Thich Nhat Hanh wisely said, “No mud, no lotus.” If you know the legend of the lotus, they are flowers that grow in darkness, in the murk, and the mud and somehow miraculously rise above the surface of the water, fresh, pure, clean, and luminous. The lotus is a symbol of rebirth and transformation but without the mud, there is no lotus.

Wherever your journey takes you, there will most certainly be some mud along the way. Don’t let that stop you from pursuing your dreams, answering your callings, and trusting yourself in taking that next big leap of faith. 

My sense is you will be rewarded. And, if nothing else, you will certainly learn something new.

Godspeed and safe journey,

Kelsey Lotus Wong 

P.S. to read more on specific TRAVEL related prep tips, check out BIG TRIP TRAVEL TIPS.

Zen Beach |&nbsp;Koh Phangan, Thailand

Zen Beach | Koh Phangan, Thailand