heroines journey

BE VIGILANT WITH YOUR VIBRATION

IMG_1034.jpeg

Be Vigilant with Your Vibration 🙏🏽.


The latest pearl of wisdom 🐚 that Soul Sister, Goddess, and Guide, SheShe 💃🏽 shared with me, “You must be vigilant with your vibration”. As women we are taught to “be nice” and “play well with others” and while generally I am and I do, I also believe in setting clear boundaries. It’s something I’ve needed to learn over time and I’m still learning.

The more aware I become, the more I see the lack of consent in our culture. Not just when it gets physical #metoo but as women and human beings we often allow too many things to happen that we didn’t ask for or consent to.

I’m all about learning to let go and not sweat the small stuff but that small stuff adds up. Hurt people hurt people and blessed people bless people. Now we’ve all been hurt and have received blessings too. It’s neither fixed nor a label, but we need to be radically responsible for ourselves, our bodies, our emotions, our needs, and our energy.

We also need practical tools for healing. My practice is forgiveness work. I’ve been doing it for 10 years. It’s a universal tool that works wonders and I’ll be using it the rest of my life. Forgiveness work isn’t just for someone else, it’s for you to clean house & clear internally. That followed by blessings and gratitude turns a contraction into a gift and hurt into healing 💞. Full circle. Alchemy.

People often think I’m so positive and happy but yo I’m hella sensitive and I have my fair share of negativity to work through. Sometimes this inner work feels like sucking poison out of your heart or womb...like pricking your finger with a rose thorn. It hurts 🥀.

So as Shereen shared, be vigilant with your vibration. Do the work to take care of you. And when all else fails, rather than be hard, be soft on yourself. Be kind. Be true.

Love & blessings to all beings ✨.

With gratitude,

Lotus

#heroinesjourney #soulwisdom#sisterhood 👯‍♀️ #vigilance #vibration #forgiveness #selfcare #selflove#hurt #healing #blessings #boundaries#womyn #consent #gratitude#yearofdivinelove 🌹

SWAN DIVE. HEART FIRST.

“We are of the same drop. A multitude of droplets made into the whole.” As channeled by Anne Koller as part of  Follow the Water  | Captured by Zanette Johnson

“We are of the same drop. A multitude of droplets made into the whole.” As channeled by Anne Koller as part of Follow the Water | Captured by Zanette Johnson

I find myself at another turning point, completing another cycle of letting go. 

On the outside, it looks like one big adventure but that’s only the tip of the iceberg. 

There is far more beneath the surface. There are tidal waves in these waters. It’s emotional. 

I’ve spent the last year “Completing the Hero’s Journey” (<-- see blog post), answering the call to adventure and charging into the unknown. Over the course of the last month and a half, I've been making the return journey down memory lane in a live-in van to see the people and places I’ve called home. 

And as this sun sets, another sun rises on the next stage called the Heroine’s Journey (<-- not the same as a female Hero's Journey, read Maureen Murdock's article). It is here that I take the plunge, diving deeper into my inner chambers and subconscious on a quest for healing and wholeness. 

As I take steps into this new realm I often feel clumsy, messy, unruly, flawed, and unacceptable. Combine this with full-time travel, balancing work and relationships and all of a sudden you unearth trigger after trigger. Connected to a host of untrue stories, hidden insecurities, fears, and worries. 

I have insecurities about the "imperfections" of my body, the frenetic tendencies of my mind, the restlessness of my spirit, and the sensitive unpredictability of my heart.

I fear I am an imposter. I fear that I don’t know what I’m doing. I fear that I can’t take care of myself. 

I worry I’m too much. I worry I’m not good enough. I worry I’m not worthy of love.

At the temple at Burning Man this year I read one message I hope to never forget. It was a tribute to an amazing man named Robert. On the back of his memorial program, it said,  “Thank you to Robert who taught me that fear is just a lack of faith and worry is a misuse of imagination.”

Such a good reminder to get out of my head and return to the heart. Still, sometimes I feel completely mad like I am on the brink of schizophrenia.  

One recent discovery that has provided support was found on a hypnojourney (small group healing hypnosis experience, a bit of a mix between meditation and visualization, which I plan to write about in full soon!). The theme of the hypnojourney was "Tending the Inner Garden" where we were led on an inner voyage to discover our Creative Muse.

As we were guided into our inner gardens, we were led by our spirit guides (mine is a Cheetah) to meet our potential muses. The first one I met was a blossoming flowering Earth Goddess. I was ecstatic to meet her and was certain she was my muse! She embodied my ideal vision of a Creatrix with all of her colorful, flowing vibrancy and fertility. In the hypnojourney we were asked to send light from our hearts to the being and if the light was returned then they were our muse. 

As I beamed my light to her with immense joy, she did not beam back. 

I waited and waited to see if it was really true.

Nothing.

Disappointed and confused, I finally accepted that perhaps she and I might have a different relationship but that she was not my Creative Muse. I carried on and after a while, my spirit guide brought me to a dark forest.

In the forest I saw a lake surrounded by lush trees. It was a bit spooky. But then I saw a Swan gliding silently beneath the luminescence of the moon. This is when I truly became hypnotized, I watched as the Swan glided effortless with ease and grace in an infinity-shaped loop.

swan.jpg

My next reaction after seeing this exquisite creature was, she’s not my muse. She’s too elegant and I’m too messy. It can’t be her. I tried to leave and move on to another area but she kept presenting herself in my consciousness. Enchanting me.

As the hypnotherapist had instructed, I sent a light beam from my heart to her and to my surprise, she received it. What she did next astonished me. She responded by beaming her light and creating a golden orb beneath the water that radiated into ripples. 

From there, we were encouraged to offer our muse a gift. I thought what can I possibly give a swan? The hypnotherapist said, "Whatever it is that comes to you first, go with it." So I offered her an eternal rose. When she accepted the rose it was enveloped by her white feathers and left a trail of rose petals behind as she glided.

She offered me a gift in return, a thin golden vile with an elixir to transcend time (WOW).

The last thing I heard before I woke from the hypnojourney were two words, “Swan Dive”. 

I didn’t know what a Swan Dive was so after waking I asked my friend Harper who said, “A swan dive is standing on the edge and leaping into the darkness.”

And that’s exactly how this next stage feels. 

Follow the Water  presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

Follow the Water presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

The journey continues! The very next day, I attended "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" at Alameda Beach where these photos were taken. Together, we sat in a circle and offered our intention and prayer. When it was my turn I offered my surrender with the intention of a "Swan Dive Into the Darkness". After we danced, a soul sister and one of the hosts of the evening, Anne said, “Lotus are you ready for your Swan Dive?” 

Hand in hand, step-by-step we journeyed into the cold ocean water towards the setting sun. This moment was overwhelming, I was brimming with joy and tears. 

Letting go is a mostly difficult and very necessary thing to do. That evening I saw how Mother Earth so graciously let's go of the sun. With love trusting that it will return the next day. 

And so I must summon my willpower to surrender too. 

It's going to be a windy journey with plenty of up's and downs. But I'm no longer running and hiding, I’m ready to go all in.

Swan Dive. Heart First. 

xx,
Lotus

P.S. Join Follow the Water for more "H2Flow: Sunset Water Dance" in Alameda, California. If you're curious to learn more about Healing Hypnosis or want to schedule a virtual hypnosis session, email me hi@kelseykwong.com and I'll put you in touch. 

Follow the Water  presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

Follow the Water presents "H2Flow: A Sunset Water Dance" | Captured by Zanette Johnson

AN ODE TO HOME

CD373A8F-ACAE-49C7-91F9-BD81590A1490.JPG

28 years ago today, I was born in Tucson, Arizona, U.S.A. to Audrey and Justin Wong.

A little soul, beautiful, clear, and as pure as could be. Bravely journeying forward from the comfortable safe waters of my mother’s womb into this bright sterile place they call a hospital feeling a little lost-pital, the first door into a world of unknown.

A baby lotus bud, born without expectation. Loved without condition. Accepted fully, received completely, given everything my parents could possibly give.

There is no greater gift than the gift of life and even if I carried my parents on my back for the rest of my days I could never fully repay them. 

Upon receiving such a remarkable gift the next question is, what do you do with it?

FullSizeRender.jpg

I believe that your life’s journey represents how you carry that gift.  

Life has been generous and my path has propelled me forward into a new world of traveling, healing, and expanding in Southeast Asia. It has been three months of growth, challenge, and absolute joy.

But as Marcel Proust says, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

This time and space away have given me fresh perspective, immense gratitude, and a deeper understanding of the meaning of home. 

What is home?

Home can be a place, a person, a memory, a feeling, an energy. It is many things to many people...and here is a window into what home means to me.

Lotus Home | Ubud, Bali

Lotus Home | Ubud, Bali

AN ODE TO HOME

Home is…Tucson

  • Koala hugs from my sister, Lauren
  • Sunday breakfast potatoes made by my Dad
  • Hosting family gatherings and holidays with my Mom
  • Hearing my Grandma tell me the story of how she kidnapped me from the hospital when I was born for the hundredth time and listening intently and joyfully like it's the first time 
  • Sharing laughs, the latest adventures, and eight course Chinese meals with first cousins, second cousins, third cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles, family, and sneaking in the occasional best friend (Jake!)

Home is…the Bay Area (Oakland and San Francisco)

  • Riding my bike home from the market with a jetpack full of groceries
  • Hearing Feliciano’s footsteps up the stairs followed by a kiss on the cheek 
  • Exploring life’s magic and mysteries MuSoMing with Michelle and Zanette
  • Community dinners, coordinating crazy schedules, and late night chats with C.Lai.
  • Cwerking with my Delivering Happiness team, Jenn, Sunny, Zaharah, and Jeff

Home is…Phoenix

  • Pillow talk, ALL the feels, and ALL the foods with Tanya
  • Late night snuggles, smoothies, and coconut oil popcorn with Jeremy
  • Coworking at CO+HOOTS and catch-up's at Green with Jenny

Home is…New York

  • Safely landing and reconnecting with the Wonder Wife, Karla
  • Arriving – the right friend at the right time with my longest known amiga, Karmay
  • Infinite mirror mirror same same sister sister soul shares with Vickie

Home is…Koh Phangan

  • Coming. Going. Rising. Falling.
  • Kirtan. Ecstatic Dance. Shibari. Tantra. 
  • Flowing in love and setting it free
  • Being surrounded by and remembering I am magic
  • Floating in stillness for hours in the infinite ocean
  • Riding on motorbike in the jungle howling to the stars
  • Breathtaking sunsets, reflecting like glass, no separation between sky and sea

Home is...MAMMA BALI

  • Feeling the heartbeat of Pachamama beneath you
  • Feeling the warmth of Father Sky above you
  • Feeling acceptance and belonging, being safely held in the space in-between
Rice Terrace | Bali, Indonesia

Rice Terrace | Bali, Indonesia

Home is traveling around the world only to find that what you were looking for has been there all along.

Home is discovering that spirit is at the center of everything you do.

Home is coming full circle in wholeness understanding that YOU are the love you’ve been waiting for.

Home is many things to many people.

My birthday wish: that you may find home wherever you go, wherever you grow, within and all around you.

Here's to home,

Kelsey Lotus Wong 

p.s. a collaborative Spotify playlist I created inspired by HOME. Feel free to add songs that remind you of home!

IMG_1885.JPG

Lotus rising | Koh Phangan, Thailand

STEP 1: CONCEIVING THE HEROINE’S JOURNEY

Photography: Marva Merci Dixon | Koh Phangan, Thailand

Photography: Marva Merci Dixon | Koh Phangan, Thailand

Today marks the conception AND domain purchase of HeroinesJourney.com: a newborn blog featuring true stories of real heroine's navigating the inner journey of wholeness.

The YINspiration for the Heroine’s Journey comes from three sources:

  1. As a compliment to the yang of Joseph Campbell's the Hero’s Journey
  2. As a reaction to the recently released movie Wonder Woman
  3. As a personal desire to take ownership of my Chinese name "Qay Lin", meaning "Heroine" and to bring voice to the untold stories of amazing women from around the world

YINspiration #1: THE HERO's JOURNEY

In a lifelong pursuit of profound passionate curiosity, Joseph Campbell studied myths from ancient to modern across cultures. From his in-depth research, he unveiled a unifying storyline or “monomyth” for the vast majority of stories, which he named “The Hero’s Journey”. The complete findings of his theory are captured in his book “Hero With a Thousand Faces” and while each story has it’s own contextual differences, the storyline is this:

The Hero hears a Call to Adventure, he leaves the Known World and ventures into the Unknown. There he meets a Mentor who has traversed both realms and acts as a guide. The Hero comes upon a Road of Trials and Temptations where he is faced with challenge after challenge testing his strength, courage, and conviction. He meets helpers along the way who support him in his mission. Finally, he crosses the Abyss and has a transformation, an atonement. He then returns to the Known World victorious, having conquered his dragons and demons, now a Master of Two Worlds

"The Heroine’s Journey, on the other hand, is a journey inwards and does not culminate in this [same] sort of victory [as the hero’s journey]. The Heroine’s Journey begins when she feels like something is missing, or that something could be different, or that she’s not living the life she wants to live. Her quest ends with wholeness, a balance of feminine and masculine, success and failure, darkness and light, death and life, health and illness.

As Maureen Murdock, author of The Heroine’s Journey, explains, “The hero’s journey is up and out–with a big splash–to the light, while the heroine’s journey is down and in—into the body, into the metaphorical cave, to the Black Madonna.” — Melissa Burch, Author, My Journey Through War and Peace.

More on What is the Heroine's Journey?

YINspiration #2: WONDER WOMAN

Recently the first major action movie with a female Super Hero by a female director hit the big screens. I saw accolades for Wonder Woman’s badassery on Facebook and so I thought, WOW this movie must be good. I was in Bali and was lucky to be invited to join a caravan of women driving to one of the few movie theaters to see it. It was a journey! 14 women and 2hrs each way.

The beginning of Wonder Woman was stunning. It was fascinating to see young Diana (Wonder Woman) growing up on Thespellis raised by Amazons. The Amazons including her Mother, Queen of the Amazons, were fiercely strong and strikingly beautiful. The majority of their time and energy was dedicated to physical training so that one day when the God of War, Aries, returned, they could protect the planet.

As the movie progressed, it became clear to me that this movie was not about Divine Feminine power. This was a man’s movie dressed up in a steel skirt and corset. A big money maker waving the false flag of female empowerment for hopeful women and girls everywhere yearning to believe or be saved.

This movie left my hurt and confused. Afterwards, I felt physically drained and abused, as if I had lived through a war. I recognize my sensitivities have become heightened but I was really shook by this experience and felt completely shut down.

I was at a loss for how this had happened and I tried to understand the true message. Was this a Trojan's horse for men to see women are just as powerful as them? Was this just a Hollywood money making hoax? Was I expecting too much?

While my experience was painful, it also inspired and propelled me even further to start Heroine's Journey. To tell real stories of real heroine's approaching life's challenges, not through extreme violence and war, fighting fire with fire but through love, healing, compassion, forgiveness in the divine feminine, Shakti, yin way. 

Photography: Marva Merci Dixon | Koh Phangan, Thailand

Photography: Marva Merci Dixon | Koh Phangan, Thailand

YINspiration #3: QAY LIN (My Chinese Name)

On a personal note, I've always yearned for more stories about real women. Female role models I can believe in and look up to. Leaders I can see myself in and relate to. Heroine's with courageous hearts. 

When I was a child my Grandpa gave me the Chinese name Qay Lin (not sure on the spelling), which he told me meant Heroine. At the time, I was very unfamiliar with the word. It sounded more like the drug heroin than something to be proud of. It was so rarely used and I had no clue what being a Heroine meant so I never claimed the name.

It wasn't until learning more about the Hero's Journey and Joseph Campbell's work that I started to see the power of that name and the recognition that I am on my own Heroine's Journey.

That I AM the Wonder Woman I've been waiting for.

While the website is still in progress and the concept is still developing, the conception of this new project and the act of throwing down $1K to purchase the domain feels like a symbolic and mighty first step.

So stay tuned as I’ll be looking for stories from men and women alike on the Heroine's in your life!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your ongoing and limitless support on my heroine's journey.

With love and gratitude,

Kelsey Lotus Wong

Photography: Marva Merci Dixon | Koh Phangan, Thailand

Photography: Marva Merci Dixon | Koh Phangan, Thailand