You may have known me once, or thought you knew me, you may know me now or think you do.
But the truth is, I change everyday. I can barely keep up with who I am and what I want and I’ll bet you change too. Of course there are things about each of us that are constant, much of which is DNA and more of which is deeper, value-driven, culture-driven, stemming from a place of purpose, imbedded in our souls.
This purpose presents itself in moments of inspiration, in acts of kindness and in choices no one understands but you.
Last night I stumbled upon one of those moments as I was skimming through an older journal. I always keep a journal and it amazes me to look back and transport myself to those moments. Just like any good book, you can become totally encapsulated.
My thoughts start from middle school with such simple problems, “who do I like this week?” “what did I do to get in trouble again?” to post-graduate thoughts “what do I want to do with my life?” “what kind of impact do I want to make on Earth?”.
This particular piece was written during an Activist workshop about self-care, where I was asked to write from my soul.
To take a deeper look into the person I continue to be. Read on.
What is the sum of our existence on earth? How can we heal this place? Where am I, where have I been, who was I then?
Shed identity, shed this life, shed all. This life could’ve been anyone’s, this body, mind and spirit anything, but in this life, it’s mine.
What discoveries have I unveiled? Inventions, inspiration, moments of undeniable brilliance. My soul feels so pure and yet I know my deep inner wisdom is being accessed more and more each day. I often wonder who I’ve been and where I have gone, I know the answers are inside of me, with each life experience they become unlocked.
In moments of darkness I had light. In moments of development, challenge and disbelief I found hope. A strong sense of self, an energetic purity, sense of imagination, curiosity and wonder that has gone beyond my wildest dreams.
And in this sudden exploration of voice and fury where I am delving into my innermost being, I ask myself, what will be my greatest gift in this life? The love and peace I feel now, will it last? The fire lit inside, will it ever be defused? When there’s courage needed, will it be available? Will I recognize it in me as I do in others? Will I continue to grow and be all that I aspire to? The dreams that I have in my days, will they be realized?
The answer within me to all is an undeniable yes. One that pumps my heart and sends each beat into my lungs, my voice, my words, my vision, my thoughts, my feelings, and everything I am. My innermost wisdom tells me, do not worry, for worries belong in the future, regrets in the past.
My soul tells me, use your laser focus in your work, clear your world of obstacles, embrace challenges, be open to love and light and laughter. Experience joy, don’t run from it. If the divine gives it to you, give it to others and be your best here now, in this moment and the next.
In this life and beyond, let your soul dance, be free and understand that there are not always answers.
It just is.