WRITTEN FOUR YEARS AGO on May 26, 2015
"Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I was reminded that everyday is a choice. There are two fundamental approaches to take: one of love, abundance, and "I can", and the other of fear, scarcity and "I can't". Nine times out of ten I choose the former.
Last night, I got caught in the latter. Questioning my purpose, my work, my identity. Socrates said, "Question your most precious beliefs." And John Woodens says “it’s what you learn after [you think] you know it all that counts.”
The thing about me is, when I am very clear on my direction, I am hellbent on making it happen. I am unstoppable. Philosophically I embrace change, spiritually I embrace life as a universe of possibility, and those beliefs create my reality.
But I have doubts too. I have internal monkey mind chatter. I worry. I complain. I can be uncertain and unclear.
Up until now, my lowest lows have come from moments where I have felt directionless. It usually happens just before I take that next leap. I'm seeing now that when you leap there's that hang time- in that moment you feel both fundamental emotions: love AND fear. That must be what I'm experiencing now.
I am one day over the one year mark of pursuing my dream to live in the Bay Area. I've become clear that there's no going back. It's one month over the one year mark of another dream: to do work that I love and be paid to be myself at Delivering Happiness. I am now working on the one project I have wanted to work on since I started - to activate our community and reimagine the movement. There's no going back.
As I cross the chasm between my current reality to the next, I also see that there is room for new dreams and a next level vision. I have exited the kiddy pool of adolescence and am swimming through an ocean of self-realization. Soon I will be at the point where I am not just reaching for my potential but realizing it.
What will I do with my life then? Who will I serve? How will I serve? What will I be hellbent on making happen?
Oprah said one of the best compliments she ever received when she was coming up as a news anchor and then talk show host was, "You haven't changed, you've just become more of yourself".
I hope years from now, I will be courageous, bold, and inspirational. A beacon of beauty, truth, and vision. And a soul that keeps swimming."