The Shadow Side of Living an Intentional Life


The Shadow Side of Living an Intentional Life (for me) is this...๐ŸŒ“
- feeling exhausted from all your #innerwork
- seeing your unconscious tendencies for what they are
- owning your projections and stories
- taking radical responsibility for yourself, your feelings, your needs
- no more hiding or spiritual bypassing, being seen ๐Ÿ™ˆ
- inviting in and sitting with all your emotions ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ
- being honest, anxious, lonely, afraid, angry, frustrated, sad, empty
- losing your way and forgetting who you are
- working 3-10x as hard as those who took the prescribed path (not fact checked, just a feeling)
- not having enough time or energy for all the things, ever
- recognizing your limitations and that you're not in control
- constantly forgiving yourself for not being perfect
- being vulnerable, squishy, soft
- practicing love sometimes gracefully, sometimes not
- begging for mercy, surrendering to the One

The list goes on. I write this, not to create a sob story, whine or throw a pity party for myself ๐Ÿฅณ but rather to be real about whatโ€™s behind the mask. Thereโ€™s always more to the story than what we see on social media or even when we meet face to face.

One spiritual teacher said, โ€œif people really knew what the path of truth entailed, they wouldnโ€™t do itโ€. Because itโ€™s not all roses ๐ŸŒน, thereโ€™s hella thorns. Ego death is a painful process and anyway, for me, it seems to just reassert itself and dress up in new clothes ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ‘˜๐Ÿ‘–. And yet as my past love said, โ€œitโ€™s a one way ticket to wholeness, we can take pauses along the way but this is it.โ€

In Buddhism, dukkha (suffering) is seen as a fundamental part of the monotony of life, it's a given, and yet I also want to paint a full picture and give it up to the great nectar of life ๐Ÿ‘, Divine Love ๐Ÿ’— in all its sweetness. Sometimes itโ€™s hard to see but itโ€™s always there in everything, our pain is our medicine, our triggers are our teachers, our conflicts are our healing. We are complete.

So here I am, human and divine, visible and invisible, beauty and beast, in all my imperfection, all my flaws...trying to make sense of this thing called life ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ.

People say Iโ€™m wise but Iโ€™m not sure I have a clue...I just keep walking until I come to love my light and my shadow, my mud and my lotus, until perhaps there is no me at all ๐ŸŒ‘.

Much love + respect for yโ€™all on the path โœŠ๐Ÿฝ. It ainโ€™t always easy to live in #truth #yearofdivinelove #shadow #realness #itwasalladream