Letting Go

Letting go is a process. You have to know when to apply it, what to let go of, and how to let go.

When to let go...
The crucial times to let go are when you feel the strongest not to. We all hold on tightest when our fear, anger, pride, and distrust take over. Yet these forces have no spiritual validity. At those moments when you are most afraid, angry, stubborn, or distrustful, you are in the grip of unreality. Your ego is forcing you to react from the past, blinding you to new possibilities here and now.

What to let go of...
If the right time to let go is when you don’t want to, the thing to let go of is the thing you feel you must hold on to. Fear, anger, stubbornness, and distrust portray themselves as your rescuers. Actually, these energies only make you more closed off. Tell yourself: Nobody every solved a situation by panicking; no one ever solved a situation by refusing to hear new answers; no one ever solved a situation by shutting down.

How to let go mentally...
The mind holds on through beliefs, expectations, and interpretations. It takes a lifetime to build up these conditioned responses, but dismantling them occurs moment by moment. The present is the right time to begin.

How to let go emotionally...
Emotions are more stubborn than thoughts. The glue that holds you fast to your old beliefs and expectations is emotion. Whenever you tell yourself that you can’t let go, you are making an emotional statement. In reality you can let go of any situation any time, “I can’t” really means “I fear the emotional consequences if I do.” Your ego draws a line in the sand and insists that you will not survive the inner feelings that will arise if the line is crossed.

There is a law in the unconscious that whatever you avoid will come back, and the more you avoid it, the stronger its return.

Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it, and see through your resistance.

As you begin to master the art of letting go, with patience, dedication, and love, your reality will change. It has no choice. Things “out there” are always mirrors of what’s going on “in here”.

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from your past, but you will find yourself.

— Deepak Chopra on "Letting Go” from his book “The Path to Love”