THE PAIN OF BECOMING: NO MUD. NO LOTUS.

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I’m struggling right now. Going through yet another stage of my evolutionary journey.

I believe in intentional #lifedesign and my life has been largely designed for a specific being who at a young age learned that in order to receive love she needed to “do great things”. As she grew, she continued to be rewarded for her performance. She developed leadership and communication skills and strived to be extraordinary. Unconsciously seeking attention and love by proving her worth. Her enoughness.

Over the last ten years that seeking has become a spiritual awakening and the last two years, an around the world adventure of the heart. On that journey, she discovered a very simple but powerful truth, that she was born worthy. Born enough. Just like water can’t be any wetter. She couldn’t be more worthy or more enough.

Imagine her surprise 🤷🏻‍♀️. The waves of impact on her unconscious tendencies 🌀. But while the insight is instantaneous, the deconditioning is a process.

The gravity is real. We live in a society that also tends to value doing > being. Striving + achieving > reflecting + becoming. Yang > yin. Outer work > inner work. The pursuit of power over the pursuit of love and peace.

While I am all for standing in our power and taking action and I recognize the over-commercialization of love and peace, I also see a dire need for REBALANCING.

From the inside out. Many of us call for world peace and transformation but that requires inner peace and transformation. We are always limited and unlimited by our consciousness. This is an inside job.

I see very clearly that I have a role in this change. I feel called to take part in teaching, creating, repairing, and healing. But for now, I’m working on me.

“No mud. No lotus” as Thich Naht Hanh famously said. Lotus flowers are known as symbols of transformation and rebirth because they grow in the mud and learn from the darkness. Slowly but surely, lotus’ use the mud as nutrients to grow and then they miraculously rise above the water, petal by petal, clean and pure. They are revered as one of the most spiritual flowers.

And while part of me feels stuck in the mud and afraid of the world. It is not my path to go hide in a cave, ashram or forest. Swami Yogananda says, “Walking away under the guise of renunciation or non-attachment is the easy path. It shows more spiritual fiber to live a Godly life in the jungle of civilization.” I chose to walk on the earth. With the people. In cities. In the world.

In my Mayan Dreamspell Chart this role is called, a Red Skywalker: the time/space traveller who can jump dimensions to assist in realizing heaven on Earth. They are angelic messengers connected to sky but who walk on Earth.

That said, my message to you is this, wherever you are on your soul’s quest, know that it’s ok. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be in pursuit of your true journey.

The world needs you, imperfect.

As you are.

And whatever needs to happen to support you in your evolution, it’s important. Make it a priority and know that you are guided and protected always.

Have faith divine friends 🙏🏽,

Mud&Lotus
#nomudnolotus #yearofdivinelove #healing #repair #selflove #souljourney

The Shadow Side of Living an Intentional Life

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The Shadow Side of Living an Intentional Life (for me) is this...🌓
- feeling exhausted from all your #innerwork
- seeing your unconscious tendencies for what they are
- owning your projections and stories
- taking radical responsibility for yourself, your feelings, your needs
- no more hiding or spiritual bypassing, being seen 🙈
- inviting in and sitting with all your emotions 🙇🏻‍♀️
- being honest, anxious, lonely, afraid, angry, frustrated, sad, empty
- losing your way and forgetting who you are
- working 3-10x as hard as those who took the prescribed path (not fact checked, just a feeling)
- not having enough time or energy for all the things, ever
- recognizing your limitations and that you're not in control
- constantly forgiving yourself for not being perfect
- being vulnerable, squishy, soft
- practicing love sometimes gracefully, sometimes not
- begging for mercy, surrendering to the One

The list goes on. I write this, not to create a sob story, whine or throw a pity party for myself 🥳 but rather to be real about what’s behind the mask. There’s always more to the story than what we see on social media or even when we meet face to face.

One spiritual teacher said, “if people really knew what the path of truth entailed, they wouldn’t do it”. Because it’s not all roses 🌹, there’s hella thorns. Ego death is a painful process and anyway, for me, it seems to just reassert itself and dress up in new clothes 👗👘👖. And yet as my past love said, “it’s a one way ticket to wholeness, we can take pauses along the way but this is it.”

In Buddhism, dukkha (suffering) is seen as a fundamental part of the monotony of life, it's a given, and yet I also want to paint a full picture and give it up to the great nectar of life 🍑, Divine Love 💗 in all its sweetness. Sometimes it’s hard to see but it’s always there in everything, our pain is our medicine, our triggers are our teachers, our conflicts are our healing. We are complete.

So here I am, human and divine, visible and invisible, beauty and beast, in all my imperfection, all my flaws...trying to make sense of this thing called life 🤷🏻‍♀️.

People say I’m wise but I’m not sure I have a clue...I just keep walking until I come to love my light and my shadow, my mud and my lotus, until perhaps there is no me at all 🌑.

Much love + respect for y’all on the path ✊🏽. It ain’t always easy to live in #truth #yearofdivinelove #shadow #realness #itwasalladream

Lotus

LOVE LINES

LOVE LINES ⭕️❌⭕️
I don’t want to cut my love lines
The men I’ve loved in my lifetime

My first love was a fly guy named Freddy 🙋🏻‍♂️
We met at a party and started going steady ❤️
French Portuguese, he had so much depth
Even in college rocked an Om round his neck 🕉
After surviving that heartbreak I fell for Max 🦹🏻‍♂️
We would have tea time before English class 🍵🍵
He showed me the world like a real life Aladdin 🙌🏽
Modern day explorer, his spirit animal, a dragon 🐉
From there I fell for a well-groomed gentleman named Feliciano 🤵🏻🌹
We met in downtown PHX where the season is always Verano ☀️
Spread our wings to the diversity of Oakland 🌳
Rode bikes 🚲 🚲 sailed the seas hand in hand ⛵️ Then set off to explore Southeast Asia 🌏
Met an Aussie named Daniel, I can only describe as Fantasia ✨🤸🏻‍♂️🔮
Lived in a mini van drove up the West coast 🚌
Hiked in Taiwan, Meditated the utmost 🧘🏻‍♂️🧘🏻‍♀️ And now my heart’s set on this earthchild JJ 👨🏾🌿
When I’m with him I feel like the luckiest laday 🥰
First date set in the green jungle of Thailand 🇹🇭 Yosemite, NOLA, I’m so lit up he’s my man 💋

Love lines crisscrossing my heart so wildly
Know God’s watching over cuz it never loves mildly
Some people say you can’t be friends with your ❌’s
But cutting people out is only for T-Rex’s 🏃🏾‍♂️🦖 😝Thank you to all those who have loved me 🙏🏽
Especially the one who watches above me 😇

Don’t cut your love lines or burn bridges if you don’t have to
Forgiveness and healing will flood that love right back to you 🌊💞🌊
#lovelines #lovepoem #forgiveness #healing #partners #heartners 💌 #lovers #yearofdivinelove 📸 @jaspher.diz @pradofarms 🌿 #phillipines

FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

WRITTEN FOUR YEARS AGO  on May 26, 2015

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I was reminded that everyday is a choice. There are two fundamental approaches to take: one of love, abundance, and "I can", and the other of fear, scarcity and "I can't". Nine times out of ten I choose the former.

Last night, I got caught in the latter. Questioning my purpose, my work, my identity. Socrates said, "Question your most precious beliefs." And John Woodens says “it’s what you learn after [you think] you know it all that counts.”

The thing about me is, when I am very clear on my direction, I am hellbent on making it happen. I am unstoppable. Philosophically I embrace change, spiritually I embrace life as a universe of possibility, and those beliefs create my reality.

But I have doubts too. I have internal monkey mind chatter. I worry. I complain. I can be uncertain and unclear.

Up until now, my lowest lows have come from moments where I have felt directionless. It usually happens just before I take that next leap. I'm seeing now that when you leap there's that hang time- in that moment you feel both fundamental emotions: love AND fear. That must be what I'm experiencing now.

I am one day over the one year mark of pursuing my dream to live in the Bay Area. I've become clear that there's no going back. It's one month over the one year mark of another dream: to do work that I love and be paid to be myself at Delivering Happiness. I am now working on the one project I have wanted to work on since I started - to activate our community and reimagine the movement. There's no going back.

As I cross the chasm between my current reality to the next, I also see that there is room for new dreams and a next level vision. I have exited the kiddy pool of adolescence and am swimming through an ocean of self-realization. Soon I will be at the point where I am not just reaching for my potential but realizing it.

What will I do with my life then? Who will I serve? How will I serve? What will I be hellbent on making happen?

Oprah said one of the best compliments she ever received when she was coming up as a news anchor and then talk show host was, "You haven't changed, you've just become more of yourself".

I hope years from now, I will be courageous, bold, and inspirational. A beacon of beauty, truth, and vision. And a soul that keeps swimming."

#yearofdivinelove

Photography: John Harris JJTechboogie Media


ODE TO OAKLAND

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THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME...ODE TO OAKLAND.

After 2.5 years on the road less traveled, this free bird is ready to rest her wings. I've been in deep prayer for a sacred space, a sanctuary to come home to and those prayers have been answered!!!

It's a freaking MIRACLE. I'm OVERJOYED, GRATEFUL, BLESSED to have met Darrell Jones III, a fellow seeker on the path, and to be moving into his ZenDen Sanctuary in Oakland while he continues to journey.

What a cathartic moment. After all my seeking, exploring 10 countries, staying in over 150 places, I don’t need to travel anymore (though I still will some!) because I found the place I was looking for…home.

Coming back, I now know that home isn’t a single physical space, it’s an eternal place in the heart. The bridge between worlds - the cathedral of the soul.

And over the past two years, I’ve been going through a purification process which has been fucking bruta-ful (beautiful + brutal) to say the least.

But no mud no lotus. No rose without thorn.

And now I am experiencing so much grace, feeling how good it is to finally come home ❤

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WHY OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA?

Why the Bay Area? It’s soooo expensive, isn’t it? Haha, well short answer, yes! But why?

Because people want to be here. Because despite it’s high cost of living and fast pace of life, people feel a deep sense of belonging.

Though it’s not perfect by any means, this is a place that celebrates difference. Though much of the culture is threatened by gentrification, displacement, and mental/emotional illness, it is also ripe with diversity, creativity, and vibrance.

Oakland is a place of progress that inspires me. It’s a place where people are marching daily. It's a place with soul.

And the symbolism of the 🌳 Mighty Oak 🌳 is no mistake. The Oak tree is one of the most beloved trees in the world, and with good reason. It's a symbol of strength, morale, resistance and knowledge. The oak is considered a cosmic storehouse of wisdom embodied in its towering strength.

With that, I got a 2 bedroom spot in the heart of the city near Lake Merritt with LOTS OF SPACE. So come through! And if you live in the YAY AREA, expect an invite for a House Warming and future gatherings at the “ZenDen Lotus Pad” soon.

Beyond that, I would love to see you, reconnect with you and be a part of this community again.

Thank you for all of your support. It's so good to be home!

With gratitude,
Kelsey Lotus Wong

#cominghome #heroinesjourney #oakland #oaklandish #thatlakelife#yearofdivinelove

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POWER OF VOICE | FRANCE

Centre Artistique International ROY HART , Château de Malerargues

“We are not transforming. We are becoming more of who we truly are.” ~ ‎Alfred Wolfsohn, German Vocalizer

I am slowly coming off the acid trip, emotional rollercoaster, magical mysterious metamorphosis of a journey that is POWER OF VOICE at Centre Artistique International ROY HART with Midderigh Vox.

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What is Power of Voice? PoV is a leadership course of sorts that takes you into the deep unknown through the vehicle of voice.

For me, PoV has been exciting, terrifying, enlivening, exhausting, highly expressive, rejuvenating, fun and CHALLENGING all at the same time. A voyage of self-discovery that included: singing, storytelling, vocal exploration, voice coaching, theater improvisation, expanding of emotional range, somatic movement + embodiment practices and more!

Roy Hart Theater voice coaching!

Roy Hart Theater voice coaching!

Though the journey was intense, the scenery is revitalizing and inspiring. Set in a chateau amongst beautiful greenery and the rolling hills of southern France makes this an ideal setting to learn and grow.

What I find most fascinating about this place is its legendary origin story. In 1974, the Roy Hart Theatre was co-created by the blood, sweat and tears of 49 crazy souls from 15 countries who uprooted their lives to pursue an "IMPOSSIBLE DREAM”.

Some of the original founders of the Roy Hart Theater.

Some of the original founders of the Roy Hart Theater.

Their dream was to leave their day jobs and to live, work, and perform together full-time. After much searching, they were fortunate to find a chateau in ruin to rebuild and reform. They didn’t have much money so it took 25 years to pay off and even longer to put it together but today, the Roy Hart Theater has realized its dream and hosts workshops, courses, and performances throughout the year.

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Much loved by actors and artists for their unique method of voice coaching, the Roy Hart work is based on a history of more than 80 years of research, study and practice of the human voice without boundaries. The teachers have a special ability to help people to unlock the power in each person’s voice. Through this process of self-discovery people uncover more and more of not just their vocal range but of who they really are.

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And while I am still swimming in the echoes of this journey and soaking in the realization that I am a fully-flawed human being, I can say with absolute confidence that despite my resistance, kicking and screaming, I am glad I came.

Thank you to Siobhán McCann for bringing me here and for both your and Ivan Midderigh's guidance and energy. Though I knew very little up front, I am coming out with a renewed sense of self and a crystal clear recognition and respect for the Power of Voice.

Merci Beaucoup Mes Amies!

With love, 
Lotus

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